


el sol

by yellowvim



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Confusing, Confusion, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, M/M, No Smut, Not Beta Read, Sad Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Sapnap Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Soft Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:35:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28747797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yellowvim/pseuds/yellowvim
Summary: "You can be selfish, you know,""I've been selfish enough,"-or, Sapnap is confused and in love and Dream is not confused and in love.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 271





	el sol

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is confusing. it's meant to be that way, because emotions are confusing. this fic is not supposed to make a lot of sense.
> 
> please enjoy, dreamnap rulez u already know (rlly it's just sap, bc I simp, dream is just here for the ride) 
> 
> of any of the lovely men in this want it taken down, I'll do so with no hesitation!
> 
> please don't shove this in their faces <3

It hadn't been planned.

Dream just looked so pretty, cheeks red from laughing and eyes closed from how hard he was smiling. And Sapnap hadn't been thinking - he never thinks first when he's in love - and he just leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Dream's lips. It's barely a peck, soft and lingering. 

Dream breathes out and it's shaky and the heat of it bounces back into his face. He's the one that leans forward first. He takes what he wants, no hesitation. He curls his fingers into Sapnap's hair and huffs, openly pleased, when Sapnap's fall to his waist. 

Sapnap let's Dream crawl until he's in his lap. Dream's tall, and Sapnap knows he's probably uncomfortable, but he stays leaning down to press harder kisses. He uses Sapnap's hair to guide his head back for better access, and Sapnap groans at the pull. 

And then Sapnap's pulling away in a panic. He's breathing hard and he knows he's probably a soft shade of pink.

"I-" he licks his lips and swallows harshly. He lets his fingers pull away from Dream's waist, hands held awkwardly between them. "S-sorry. I'm gonna-" 

He never finished his sentence. He just lifts Dream (and goddamn Dream likes that Sapnap can just lift him - _no biggie_ ) and sets him off to the side gently. He scratches under his headband. _Hesitates_. He doesn't know what he wants. And then he stands from the bed and looks anywhere but at Dream.

"Sorry," he says it again, mumbles it this time, on his way out of the door. It shuts softly with a click, and he's alone. Standing awkwardly in the hallway of the apartment he shares with his best friend who he just kissed. Or did Dream kiss him? He honestly doesn't know. He doesn't think he wants to know.

He kind of regrets it.

* * *

The next morning, they both act normal. And the day after that. And for the rest of the week. And now it's been nine days since they kissed.

And Sapnap's confused. And kinda pissed at himself. He's the one that regrets it, he's the one that wanted it to go away. And it did. So why is he suddenly so damn jealous of George? Why is he suddenly so annoyed and hurt with the third wheeling? 

They're both in their own respective rooms, across the house, in a call with George while he streams. Sapnap left the call, actually, but keeps watching the stream. They don't even notice he's gone; Dream doesn't notice. Not that they would, Sapnap had barely spoken a word in at least half an hour. There's no space for him when George and Dream are together. They talk so fast, click so well. Sapnap's left to watch them from afar.

_No_.

Dream is grown and he can do anything he wants. It's not like he's Sapnap's boyfriend or anything.

Sapnap mutes George's stream and thinks about how he wishes he were George. He wonders what about George is so great, then actually laughs out loud. It's bitter and hollow.

Everything about George is great.

He tries to reason with himself. He's not allowed to be jealous if he's the one that, in some respect, rejected whatever happened with Dream that night.

His brain is going a mile a minute. He can't keep up with his own thoughts. Frustration, anger, guilt, jealousy,  _ more _ guilt. What is  _ wrong _ with him?

He turns George's stream off completely, deciding to just vibe with music and Minecraft. Time passes, he's not sure how much. But he does know he's failed at least six speedrun attempts. What was supposed to be a mini therapy session is quickly starting to piss him off. 

Fingers suddenly slide into his hair and it makes him jump and pull his headphones to his neck.

"Fuck, Dream, you scared me," Sapnap huffs a laugh and turns back to Minecraft to exit properly. He checks Twitch and his brows furrow. "George is still streaming - what's up?" 

"You left," Dream shrugs. His chin settles on Sapnap's shoulder.

"Yall were vibing," Sapnap laughs awkwardly, "And I don't need to hog your attention all the time _ I guess. _ George can have a crumb, as a treat."

Dream laughs loudly and tilts his head, pressing his forehead to Sapnap's shoulder instead. His laugh settles to a soft giggle and he hums.

"You can be selfish, you know,"

"I've been selfish enough," Sapnap huffs. Dream knows he's talking about the kiss. Neither of them speak again for a while. Sapnap let's Dream crawl into his lap again. He doesn't push him away this time.

"I think you need to be more selfish, then," Dream speaks quietly. Sapnap's music is thumping, muffled and dull from his headphones. "I literally kissed you and you still think I don't want you."

"I-" Sapnap flushes under the attention, "I don't know. I'm confused."

"I can tell," Dream sounds amused. He stares down at Sapnap with so much affection, it makes Sapnap's eyes and nose burn with tears.

"I just- I thought you liked George. And even if you don't- I don't know," Sapnap laughs bitterly, "Even if you don't like George, I don't think I deserve you."

"I think I can determine what I do and don't deserve," Dream scoffs. It's light hearted and sarcastic, but Sapnap knows he is probably a little annoyed. "I've tried to make it as obvious as possible. I  _ kissed _ you. Pandas, I  _ like _ you. I  _ want _ you."

"I'm just-" he laughs, "I'm twisted, man."

"I know," Dream nods, "But that's not your fault. And I like you how you are. Or how you will be."

"Dream," Sapnap laughs. He opens his mouth to speak, but Dream is on him first. Kissing him again, and this time there is no confusion. Dream leaned in first, Dream presses harder. Dream is there, surrounding him, making him feel safe. His breath is caught and he is starstruck with love and affection and adoration. This amazing, beautiful man above him is just there. Holding him, kissing him.

Dream laughs into the kiss and Sapnap does too and their teeth clack together, but it's okay. It's okay.

Sapnap is okay and Dream is okay and kissing Dream is okay. Dream wants it, likes it even.

Jesus, Dream likes  _ him _ .

Dream pulls away and presses their foreheads together. He's breathing heavy and he's smiling and  _ goddamn _ he's so pretty.

"Pandas," Dream smiles and leans up to press a kiss to Sapnap's forehead. "Will you pretty please be my boyfriend?" 

"And if I say no?" 

"I'll politely ask you to reconsider," Dream snorts. Sapnap rolls his eyes at the joke, but the smile on his face is worth it.

"Yes, Dreamie," Sapnap's hands curl over Dream's thighs, "I will be your boyfriend. In a gay way and a homiesexual way."

"Fuck yes," Dream grins, and it's wide and boyish and Sapnap leans forward to press a kiss to it. Dream giggles with delight and holds Sapnap's face in his hands. They're big and warm and safe. And Sapnap giggles too when Dream presses kiss after kiss after kiss anywhere he can reach. He smooches Sapnap until he's had his fill and then plants a solid one on his lips.

The rest of the night is filled with more kisses, and more laughing, and so many smiles.

Dream is the sun and Sapnap is the flower that leans towards the warmth.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic was written using my own emotions as a template, so it's confusing because I'm confusing 😌
> 
> or maybe it's not confusing, I just can't decipher how I feel LMAOOO 👀 anyways hope u liked it
> 
> my Twitter is @vimilavon and yall r more than welcome to follow me (and dm me if ur over 18 👀), I mostly just retweet obscure mcyt tweets


End file.
